It is so easy to become overtaken by a particular thing and in the process loose focus on what we really want to be looking at. This last week I was forced to loose my focus. I was forced to send my energy away from my family, away from my community, away from my daughter's fifth birthday. I was forced to be completely overtaken by something I'd rather have never experienced, something that will be with me the remainder of my days-tainting my vision and interfering with my ability to focus on the things that actually matter.
Morgan turned five yesterday. She is an amazing person, with a gentle spirit and overzealous self-expression--she contradicts herself and discovers some pretty interesting things through the course of trying to be two ways at once. She is smart and very imaginative, and is realizing that she actually enjoys the dancing part of her ballet classes as much as the playing part so is beginning to show some excellent self-control and discipline in practicing her movements (at least as much as a five year old can control herself). Today she got to be in charge of opening the door at the end of class as a reward for her hard work. This was a BIG deal. We cut her hair a couple of weeks ago, and her new shorter style only accentuates her advancing age. She loves to entertain (as she's been showing us since infancy) and has embraced her big sister role in the care she shows Kiera-always initiating games with her, tailoring them to Kiera's interests and abilities.
Today I have a five year old, and I am choosing to change my focus. I refuse to continue to waste it on something ugly when I have something so beautiful and so very, very much more deserving.