37 weeks and unwelcome surprises

Our last few days have been completely hijacked by some news we recieved Wed. We had blood work done the week before to re-check my iron levels and make sure my anemia was well on its way to resolution. Through that test we discovered that other things had gone wonky in my body, and while my iron levels have completely recovered, it happened so fast that it (and a somewhat elevated blood pressure and low platelet counts) indicated a problem-once all the dots were connected my midwives concluded that I had become at risk for preeclampsia (google it if you want more info, it's hard to explain). The midwife we met with was not very encouraging or optimistic, and pretty much left us feeling as though we had no chance of holding onto our original birthplan. This sent us into an immediate and heart breaking talespin, as it would not only mean the loss of the happy homebirth we've been anticipating, but also a medical induction of labor-possibly very soon. It is difficult for many people to understand how this could be so devistating, as many do not understand the choice for homebirth to begin with and would see it as an opportunity not only to birth in a "safe" environment, but also to meet your baby that much sooner, and after all, what does it all matter so long as the baby and I are healthy in the end?

• Hospital birth is only safer if you need the treatments only they can give. A successful homebirth means that mom and baby were 100% healthy and safe, which can NEVER be said of a hospital birth (just being in a hospital increases your chance of c-section from 10% - 30%).

• Babies need to be in their mommies as long as they choose to be, regardless of what week you are in or how well they will "probably" fair. Making them come sooner is NEVER a good thing, but instead the lesser of two evils.

• It matters. It all matters. Birth trauma is a largely overlooked problem, one that most women never discuss or even acknowledge as a valid issue, and when left unaddressed leads to post-partum depression and/or PTSD, which is later blamed on the woman-her hormones where out of whack, she overtaxed herself, she can't "handle it," etc. Birth memories are embedded in a very deep part of our brains, etched in greater detail than normal memories, lasting our entire lives and affecting us in ways we often do not notice. Yes, we want the baby to be healthy, and yes, this is a source of comfort and happiness--but it does not negate the importance of how WE are, how we have been affected mentally and emotionally by the conditions of our children's births. We would not tell a victim of a mugging or a car accident that they should not be affected by those events because their bodies are physically intact, why do we do it to birthing women?

That's my long way of saying I was VERY upset, and a gently request that no one tell me not to worry, all that matters is a healthy baby, etc. I will worry about myself, the baby, and our birth as I see fit, thank you very much. But we appreciate the concern and support that would prompt such statements, and we love you for that.

With all that said, I had more tests run today which were presented to the consulting OB, and it has been concluded that at this time there is no further need for concern. I will be monitored more closely until the birth, and will keep a BP cuff at home to keep an even closer eye on things, but we have been given the all-clear to return to the planning of our homebirth, with loved ones and our children close at hand. This makes us very, very happy.